Thursday, April 1, 2010

How to Brew in the Newest School: Choco Taco Imperial Stout

The other day a group of friends, Plaid Pantry employees all, including frequent contributor to this blog Chicken Pox Vinny, Captain Tennille and Lucas "The Water Pistol" Worley came over to my house to inagaurate my new brew kettle and burner with a very unique homebrew that I would say is a perfect example of The Newest School of brewing culture. After capturing some entertaining photos offhandedly of the brew session I decided to blog it.

I asked Vinny to explain the beer and how it came about:

Choco Taco Stout is the realization of a long-running joke amongst three coworkers at Plaid Pantry. Captain Tennille, our GM, has regular cravings for Choco Tacos. Choco Tacos are small confections consisting of ice cream wrapped in a waffle taco shell, all covered in chocolate. Sometimes, just to switch things up, Captain Tennille would go so far as to place a wrapped Choco Taco in his pocket until it warmed up in order to add a bit of melt (and ruining several pairs of pants in the process).

Lucas and Vinny, always entertained by Captain Tennille's Choco Taco passion, decided that Captain Tennille's diet would be augmented if he could drink Choco Tacos as well as eat them. Homebrewers both, Lucas and Vinny decided to actualize this mirthful fantasy in the form of a stout, the perfect medium to deliver liquid Choco Taco.

Choco Taco Imperial Stout video from Ninja Sculptor on Youtube...

After adding a pack of waffley taco shells to the mash we ran off some of the first runnings to try and it did indeed have a bready-waffley character to it. So far so good.

The next logical step is to prepare the beer cocktail of old and new school brewers alike...the Red Hotty.

If your not familiar with it, basically you take the first runnings of the hot sweet wort from the mash tun into a pint glass and add a shot or two of Red Bull. This is perhaps the best drink you have never tasted.

We then drove to Del Taco and ordered a bag of tacos for inspiration and to keep energy levels up for the boil.

Whatever you do dont awkwardly blow a dude in front of the boil kettle. Inevitably someone like me will be there to take a photo and blog it.

It is wise to wear a helmet while brewing The Newest School method as Captain Tennille demonstrates here.

To properly add ice cream to the boil first make snow balls out of them. Next, collect a handful of them. Stand 10 feet from the kettle and attempt to shoot the ice cream balls in. However many make it in is the proper amount. Make sure to note it in your brew log.

Next squirt in chocolate syrup. Make sure that you get as much cigarette ash as possible in the wort as Lucas demonstrates here.

At the end of the boil throw in one last ice cream snow ball for your dead homies.

Pliny The Younger – Least Hyped Beer ever?

Pliny the Younger is friggin’ awesome!
Their you go, those are the most controversial words I have ever written on this blog and I stand by them.
The beer comes from one of the most highly regarded and beer geek loved breweries in the country, Russian River. Without a doubt this is one the most under-hyped beers of all time. There have been others such as Westvleteren 12 and of course Deschutes Abyss but those beers aren’t anywhere near as friggin’ awesome as Pliny The Younger.

Also, I really don’t know why everyone is making such a big deal about not being able to find the beer. I went in to the market the other day and they had a full case of it. Says Pliny right there on the label – see …

I bought two and beer bonged them.
Followed that up with a six-pack of Tactical Nuclear Penguin and I was ready to hit the club. Fist pump!

The Newest School would like to welcome our two newest contributors...

"A Goat that kinda looks like King C" and "Chicken Pox Vinny"...

Aw, screw it … let’s just call it a Black IPA!

Everyone else is ...

Review Panel: Outright Brewing Eel Stout

Eel and stouts are a well-known and appreciated combo. But few people have heard of Eel Stout. As in, making a stout with the eel already added. These days, the eels are often added in either the mash or the boil. Sometimes just the head or just the tail, sometimes both.

I have assembled a panel of self-proclaimed beer geeks to review the beer instead of just one opinion you get a more fair and balanced take on the beer. Here we go ...

Joyce Brett – Amazing beer! But I’d suggest putting it in 7oz bottles and charging twice as much for it. Also, they should re-brand it for Japan and import it back to the states at triple the cost. That’s marketing synergy, baby!

Nurse Wart – I hated this beer. Those dirty hippies at Outright brewing make me feel uncomfortable about myself. Hey hippie kid, take off that hat and pay attention to me! The one well-groomed young man pouring beers was nice to me so that made me feel good about myself if only for a fleeting moment. I should have asked him for a hug. (Sigh)

Northwest Beer Magazine – Outright Fort George Roots Left Hand’s Eel Stout has truly redefined the style. Look for our (99% plagiarized!) feature in next month’s issue. Note to MAN-HO Rich – please get in touch ASAP re: Eel Stout brewing pictures.

Gastropub review: Watership Down

New trend: Beer with straws? We say ... sure, why not!

Happy April Fools Day from your friends at The Newest School Beer Blog!